The Errand of Angels

I hope all of you had a wonderful Mother’s Day! This morning I woke up to my oldest daughter whispering to her younger sister, “wake up.” Since my husband has been out of town doing military training, my oldest daughters have been planning and anticipating making me a special Mother’s Day surprise. They tiptoed down our stairs sometime around 6:30 this morning. You’d have thought it was Christmas had you heard their excited whispers. 

Soon after they came upstairs bearing their gifts on a cake pan. Every Mother’s Day they can remember they’d get up early to help Daniel make me a feast usually consisting of:  yogurt, fruit, and pancakes. Since Daniel wasn’t there to help, they treated me to muffins along with yogurt, applesauce, and juice. I enjoyed seeing my oldest daughter’s toothless grin as she watched me enjoy the fruit of their labor (this is also tradition). I eat while they sit and watch and smile. 

Here's the before picture of my surprise breakfast in all it's glory (ignore the poor quality...I took it with my iPod)

Besides their excitement, the best part of this “surprise” was that my own mom sacrificed in order to make it happen. See, the girls had told grandma about their plans. Knowing that they wouldn’t be able to make pancakes on their own, she helped provide those muffins. My mom was up in DC visiting for a week. While I was at a Dr. appointment with our toddler, and the only means of transportation, my mom walked a mile to the grocery store where she purchased those muffins, juice, and countless other items she couldn’t help pass up knowing we’d enjoy them (like a massive bag of candy, several, boxes of pastries, bagels, cream cheese and more). I seriously don’t know how she carried it all. Yet, she did. After she got back she helped the girls tuck the muffins in a bag marked, “No Peeking Mom!” and slipped them in the freezer. Last night they instructed me to pull that bag out to let it defrost overnight.

So when I ate my breakfast this morning, it was even more special knowing that my mom had sacrificed to make my own Mother’s Day surprise possible. Moms are awesome! I’m lucky to have a mom who’s willing to walk a mile and carry a load for me time and time again.

I’m also lucky to have so many other mother figures or “nurturers” in my life. I remember first really recognizing all these motherly figures/nurturers while serving a mission in South Korea. I was serving in Je Ju Island and had been there for some time. I remember waking up and having an upset stomach. At the time my companion was also somewhat annoyed with me. In her defense, I have to say it’s not easy living with a person 24/7. I’m not exaggerating either. Missionaries are always with their companions unless they are using the facilities (aka the restroom). While Je Ju is gorgeous (they say it’s Korea’s Hawaii, and I say it’s even better), we didn’t get as many opportunities to see and connect with other missionaries, and sometimes felt a little isolated. Needless to say being imperfect and all, my companion and I sometimes got annoyed with one another, and that morning she was pretty frustrated about something. 

We left to go do our weekly service at a local community center where the elderly would come and eat a free meal. I knew that my companion would soon get over whatever was bugging her and we’d likely talk about it after we’d worked and served the community for a couple of hours. Yet, as we passed out bowls, chopsticks, and spoons, my stomach tightened and began to really hurt. I remember not wanting to bother my companion because I knew she needed her space, but wondered if I should approach her and ask if we should go home. I didn’t know if my stomachache was a good enough reason to need to take a day off, but decided I wouldn’t bother my companion unless it got worse. In that moment I felt so utterly and completely alone. I still couldn’t quite comprehend the language, and while I loved the people, I wondered if I was even making a difference. I felt so insignificant and small. I said a silent prayer in my mind, letting Heavenly Father know how I felt and asking that I be comforted with a sense of peace. I remember as I prayed and ignored the pain in my stomach, I couldn’t help but think how in that moment all I really wanted was my mom. As a woman in her early twenties, I felt pretty lame admitting I wanted my mother’s comfort, but I voiced this thought in my prayer anyhow. I knew if anyone besides Heavenly Father was pushing for my health and success, it would be mom. I missed her.

 After my silent prayer was offered, I busied myself in the kitchen. After we’d gotten the rice bowls filled and hot soup had been served, one of the women must have noticed me holding my stomach and asked if I was feeling okay. I was surprised that she’d noticed anything but admitted that I was hurting. In a flash I had two women beside me practicing reflexology as they rubbed my hands. Another woman made a quick trip to the pharmacy to grab some medicine. The rest of the women hurried to make me rice soup that they claimed would help. My companion’s frustration had melted away and she also looked at me with concern and helped the women make a fuss over me.

 I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of love wash over me, and knew that God had heard my prayer and answered it in the most unexpected way. God didn't send my own mother, but there I was surrounded by the same nurturing love of a mother. I felt a little embarrassed with all the attention they were giving me. Yet, their service reassured me that Heavenly Father was aware of me. Even though I was one among billions He'd taken the time to inspire these earthly angels. I knew He had.  There act of service might have seemed small and unimportant in their eyes, but to me their simple acts of love enveloped me. Their service was specific to my needs and allowed me to have a glimpse at just how spectacular and wonderful these women were.

This week seemed to be a repeat of that experience. After my Grandma passed away, I was beyond disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to make it to her funeral. I was so upset when I knew I was going to miss it. I was close with my grandma. We’d spent the last three years living just a block away. Even when Daniel and I were dating we’d often go to visit Grandpa and Grandma and developed quite a bond. After Grandpa passed away, we saw Grandma even more as she decided to teach one of my daughter’s preschool to help out while Daniel was away doing officers training. She’d done so much for our little family, yet I wasn’t going to make it to the funeral. I was very down that whole day.

Then, yesterday out of nowhere (or, after my worried and helpless husband sent an e-mail out that I was unaware of), the kind words and gestures started to pour in. I feel like I’ve been whisked back to that table with a bowl of rice soup and countless nurturers surrounding and fussing over me. While I feel a little embarrassed getting so much attention and love, I just want you all to know that your thoughts and service have really touched me! Thank you! 

There are countless other experiences I’ve had where people have acted as God’s angels. Grandma did just that when she tended to my daughter and taught her. She also did this as she greeted my kids each Sunday with a massive hug and I love you. Those simple acts didn’t go unnoticed. I know there are times when we feel overwhelmed and wonder if we are really making a difference in others’ lives. I believe we usually are. I know my mom is grateful to my grandma, those women in Korea, and many of you who were here to help me when I was feeling low. I am also grateful to many of you who mourned with my Grandma and continued to love and serve her after we moved away especially since she was still mourning over the loss of Grandpa. Thank you for your thoughts, meals, and service to her. Thank you for letting your children stand in for mine as they gave Grandma a hug and said, “I love you!” It is comforting to know we never leave loved ones completely alone. It’s comforting to know that we are not alone.  

DIY: Making Bias Tape

Here's a quick overview on how to make your own bias tape. Usually, the selvages of fabric run along the top and sides of your fabric. The bias, is where your fabric will have the most stretch and give. Try giving it a tug. Nice and springy right?

Many patterns that ask you to use bias do so when it's for a product that has a lot of curves...cushions, neck ties etc. When you use fabric cut on the bias, it will sit nicely, and not get as twisted as fabric cut on the selvage.

Part of the reason I didn't like the cushion I'd finished was because the piping didn't curve as easily since the pattern didn't use bias tape. The piping was bumpy because it was just shoved in the main fabric (that had been cut on the selvage). It wasn't quite as noticeable before because the fabric was a lot more dense:

See how the piping goes up and down and how it's not as straight along the edges?...

Since my fabric wasn't quite as heavy as the floral fabric, you could really see some lumps and bumps going on:

That's not quite the look I wanted. So I decided to experiment with the extra fabric I had on hand and see if it would look better using fabric cut on the bias. And yep, it looked a lot better. So if you want to make your cushion, or project look more professional here's how you can make your own bias tape:

First lay out your fabric...

Then fold up one corner so it make a 90 degree angle. It is possible to make a bias tape without seams, but it will use up a lot of fabric. If you don't want any seams then make sure you have the correct length. I really don't mind a couple of seams. You can't even really see them when making piping, and it saves tons of fabric.

Once you figure out how much you need start cutting along the edge...

Then, go on ahead and cut the fabric in strips with the width you'll need. I had some piping that was used in the back of the couch that I used as a pattern. If you're not sure just make it the width you'd like and add 5/8's of an inch on either side for your seam allowance.

Once you have strips cut out and ready to go, piece them together by making right angles with the strips and lining up the edges. Pin it first where you seam will be, and pull it up to see if both strips line up evenly. If not, move it over until they do and then sew them together.

You can see here my strips didn't line up perfectly, but they lined up enough that I'd still have enough fabric for my piping and seam allowance to be 5/8's an inch.

Once you have the length you need, put the piping inside and pin it. You can also snip of the extra triangular fabric poking out at the top...

Then it's time to sew. Most people suggest using a zipper foot. If you have one, use it. If not, you can still continue. I lost mine long ago and just make do without. Whatever you are using, just sew along the edge of the piping right along it's side.

Here's what it looks like after the piping tube is nice and snugly sewn inside:

Then you'll place it (with the 5/8's seam closest to you and the piping furthest from you). You'll have the right sides (the side of the fabric you want to be showing...it's the blue side of my fabric) of your fabric together.

Then pin it right under the piping again and sew along again.

When you're all done, you'll be glad you used bias strips for piping. Your finished product will look a lot neater and professional (Here's a sneak peek of how it's starting to really come together).

 If you want to see the other tutorials for my latest project of reupholstering a couch look here, here, and here. I'll get the tutorial on stapling up soon...And hopefully, I'll finally get to that gimp that I've had sitting on my table and will finally be done! I got a little side tracked by starting up another project...Easter dresses! Spring is in the air and I couldn't be more excited!

A Great Read: The Moments We Stand

 
If you haven't read any of the posts on The Moments We Stand, you need to find a moment to head on over (here's a link to her first and second post). Once you start to read, you'll be hooked. You likely won't stop reading until you're caught up.

Perhaps you've already heard about Ashlee's story on Dateline. Whether or not you have, you'll find yourself wanting to know more as you read about how she faced and overcame devastating difficulties. Difficulties that came after she was told that her husband (and father of her five children) had not only been cheating on her, but that he had also been shot and murdered. While her story is heart wrenching, be prepared to be uplifted and strengthened by her faith and determination to move forward.

 

DIY: How to Reupholster...7 Tips on Sewing Cushion Covers

If you're new here and are wanting to start reupholstering see here for additional tips. Also see part one, and part two on how to get started if you haven't already.

Sewing cushions is a lot easier then you think it is. Or maybe I was just so terrified about it that I was surprised. What you'll need to do is continue to 1. use duct tape to write notes so you'll remember how it all goes back together again

2. Take pictures. When I started seam ripping, I was surprised to find that there wasn't any real piping. What I mean by that is, they hadn't used piping that had been made with fabric cut on the bias. Instead they just stuck the plastic piping tube in one piece of fabric

Then they sewed the fabric holding the piping with side pieces while pulling an 1/8 of an inch down to make the piping snug. These pictures helped me see how to repeat what they'd done.

3. My third tip is to do one cushion at a time. I discussed all these and other tips in further detail here. The reason I'd hold off on ripping all the seams at once, is because it gives you a finished product to refer to.

4. When you are taking the zipper out be careful when you open or close the zipper, or the tab will come straight off. This happened once or twice to me and it takes a long time to wriggle it back on so your zipper will work. I'd try to reuse the zippers if you can

5. Try everything on as you go along...

In the end, I decided I didn't like the piping. I knew it would look much more polished if I used piping tubes in bias tape. So, I went for it. I put the bias tape (tutorial on how to make your own coming soon) in between the top and side pieces of the cushion. I had enough fabric to get a pattern figured out. My second cushion was a little larger and needs to be adjusted a bit, but by the third cushion I'd figured out how to get it just right. I now only have to adjust the second cushion a little, and possibly redo my first cushion with the tucked in tubing.

6. If you wait to start the cushions until after all your other pieces are cut out and sewn, then you'll know whether or not you'll have enough fabric to experiment. You may even want to staple everything on before you start in case something else doesn't fit. I didn't because I had so much fabric left over. 

7. Also be prepared to use a lot of thread. I went through four spools of upholstery thread. If you don't use upholstery thread, be sure to at least use the next strongest. The strength of the thread is extremely important since people will be sitting on and putting their weight on the couch repeatedly. Use it on every part of the couch that needs to be sewn

DIY: How to Reupholster a Couch Part III... Six Tips When Preparing the Fabric for Stapling and Making Patterns for Sewing

So it's been a while. I'm actually almost done with reupholstering. It's been so long since I've posted about the couch I'll bet some of  you were thinking my couch was destroyed and I'd given up. Nope. I'm almost done! I only have to glue on the trim which is on it's way. So, it's a good time to catch up on all the steps in between. If you missed them, here's the last two tutorials on taking the "before" pictures and then taking off the old fabric.

This post will focus on how to prepare your old fabric to make patterns for stapling and sewing. It's pretty basic. There's a whole lot of seam picking/ripping. Then, you hold your breath when you first cut into that fabric hoping you won't make a mistake, and crossing your fingers you have enough fabric. Before you get out your seam ripper, here's some pointers that will save you from making mistakes (hopefully):

First: As you're taking apart your couch, keep the fabric close to or on top of the part of furniture it belongs to. For example:

Here (above) you can see that I had the fabric that went with the arm draped over where it went.

Here's the seat back...

This is the arm/side of the couch

The back...

The front that was under the cushions and exposed at the bottom

The cushion after ripping the top off...
 

Second: Take pictures of the layout. Try to use a good camera, because once you rip those seams, you may forget how it all goes back together. Taking more pictures gives you a reference to look at when you get confused.

Third: Take more pictures with details...like on cushions (I'll likely do another post on cushions, but for now these pictures helped me see how everything went together).

Fourth: Audrey suggested I use Duct tape to label the peices of faribc since my sharpie blended in too well on the dark fabric. Genius! Who doesn't love duct tape? So, as I was taking things apart I went a bit further and wrote down details to use as my instructions to remind me what went where. This was a life saver and saved me a lot of time!

Fifth,  after you cut and sew finished pieces lay them out again. When you start to rip the seams, I suggest doing one part at a time and one cushion at a time. Keep your other pieces laid out where they are. After you take them apart set the old pieces and place them back where they were until you're done sewing. Then replace the old fabric with the new piece. It will help you remember where it all goes again.

Here you can see examples of how I slowly laid out finished pieces next to older pieces.

Last but not least...tip number six: Ziplock bags! Place pieces like piping in ziplock baggies and label them with a sharpie describing where it goes. I don't have a picture of this, but again it helped when looking for piping that went to the arm, or the side, etc.

There you have it. Once you're done cutting and sewing you're ready to staple it all back on...that is if you've got your cushions done!

Modesty: What is it and Where Do We Draw the Lines?

There I was sitting in my Spanish class doing a bell ringer, or some quiz as other students filtered in and sat down. I remember feeling hot and flushed after huffing it across campus. I had a light jacket on because I'd expected the weather to be a little cooler. I slid out of the jacket as I continued to work. Once I was done I waited for class to officially start and casually chatted with classmates. It was about this time when my teacher (some grad student) asked if I could step outside and talk with him. I immediately assumed he must want me to join in some secret game or activity to help the class learn more conjugations, or Spanish phrases. I definitely was not expecting to hear what he had to say.

No. He definitely didn't want to talk to me about verbs, or anything else having to do with class. Instead, he spent a good portion of time pointing out that my clothing didn't meet the honor code (or set of rules) I'd signed and agreed to follow. I was confused that he hadn't referred me to the honor code office like he should have since he thought I wasn't in compliance. However, he never mentioned the honor code again. Instead, he continued to passionately tell me why he believed my clothing was so distasteful. I tried seeing what was inappropriate about my clothing. I knew we weren't supposed to show cleavage, midruff, shoulders, and shorts and skirts were to come to the knee. I also knew that we weren't supposed to wear tight form fitting clothing. I looked down at my shirt and jeans in shock as I tried to figure out which of these rules I had inadvertently broken.

I stood there in the hallway for a couple of minutes while my teacher literally yelled at me. I felt humiliated, especially when students or faculty were in the halls. Yet, nothing could dissuade him from his rant about how wrong I was to wear such a shirt, how my "boobs" looked and why that made it difficult for him as "a married man" to have to be around "girls like me." I remember feeling mortified and trying to convince him I tried very hard not to be "one of those girls"...that I made a huge effort to dress modestly. I apologized which sent him back to lecturing me and criticizing me, but there was no way I could completely persuade him that I wouldn't have worn the shirt had I known it would have been seen in that light. He said that if I really wanted to dress modestly then I should buy shirts that were a size or two bigger than I'd normally wear. He said his wife did just that. Ironically, I'd received the shirt from my mom and hadn't thought it was too tight.

That's because it really wasn't too tight. After he was done explicitly pointing out the reasons he felt my clothing was immodest, I was sent back into the classroom to "put back on that jacket." As I walked back in he called another girl outside. I remember looking at her outfit and asking myself, "What is wrong with what she's wearing? is it her shirt? Maybe her pants?" I wasn't sure. Then, I noticed other girls had shirts that were similar to the one I was wearing. Yet, nobody else was called outside. Why had I been selected to receive such criticism when others wearing similar clothing were ignored. The girl sitting near me asked, "What did he want?" I shrugged and said, "I guess you'll find out" hoping she'd think it had all been about Spanish. Looking back I wonder if she heard him yelling, or if they noticed how long I'd been gone. I sat through the rest of class embarrassed and stifling hot under the added layer of my jacket.

The next couple of days I tried to understand why I was attacked for my clothing. I asked the guy I was dating at the time whether or not he'd thought my shirt was too tight and if I had anything else he thought was too fitting. He tried to be helpful and judge what clothing might be too sexy or attractive. I went through my closet and tried to get rid of anything that looked similar, not just because I wanted to follow the rules, but because I wanted to be modest. After hours of shifting through clothing I felt like I hadn't gotten anywhere. It was through this process that I began to really think about modesty. It began as a quest to see where the lines and limits were so I could stay away from them. To know what was too short, too low, too tight etc.What I ended up learning was so much more.

Perhaps, that's why I was interested in the hype that came after this months Ensign (a magazine that members of the Church read). In case you haven't followed, Elder Callister stirred the pot for a blogger and a couple of therapists who felt that the Ensign was perpetuating a rape culture which got some people talking.

The buzz started after one blogger names Natasha ripped Elder Callister's talk apart. While she had many points, it seems the only one that really got people's attention was his thoughts about modesty. In part this is because Natasha's other points seem to be based on her opinion. She criticized past leaders of the church and she seemed to think she trumped them because of her occupation as a therapist. However, she did raise some great points I believe all Mormons and everyone else should consider about modesty.

I have to admit that I feel a little bad for Elder Callister. His words received a lot more attention and push back than is normal for a talk published in our Church magazine. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't heard about it. If he has, I have enough respect for him to believe he would likely admit to some of the negative messages hidden in the short paragraph on modesty. I don't think he put them there purposefully. As with many things, I believe the good message he was trying to share was mixed in with common misconceptions held by our culture at large. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt. If the misunderstandings were explained to him I think he'd readily agree to change how he discussed modesty.

So let's discuss what he said, and then talk about modesty... Here's the controversial quote,

"Our dress affects not only our thoughts and actions, but also the thoughts and actions of others...The dress of a woman has a powerful impact on the minds and passions of men. If it is too low or too high or too tight, it may prompt improper thoughts, even in the mind of a young man who is striving to be pure...Women particularly can dress modestly and in the process contribute to their own self-respect and to the moral purity of men. In the end, most women get the type of man they dress for."

I have to admit, I didn't read the article until after I heard about the push back. As I read it there were a couple of spots where I cringed a bit. Yet, there is also plenty of truth to what he said.

Studies have shown that the way we dress affects our thoughts and actions. There is a reason many schools now have school uniforms. One study (From agents to objects: Sexist attitudes and neural response to sexualized targets, in the Journal of Cognitive Nueroscience) got a lot of attention from the media, (especially after Jessica Rey mentioned it in her speech that went viral among religious circles). It showed that how a woman dresses (modestly vs. scantily clad) affects the way they are perceived. I'd already read the article before Jessica's video surfaced, and I was aware that the study she quoted was blown out of proportion by the media (there were no screwdrivers involved and the results weren't as conclusive as all the media hype made it out to be). However, it did show that participants who looked at scantily clad women had brain activity in different areas of the brain compared to when they looked at modestly clothed women. It is possible then that the theory plays out that people see women as objects when they wear revealing clothing.


I think most of us already know this to some degree. Actually, this was one of the reasons I was so upset when I was verbally attacked by my Spanish teacher. I'd already gone through a phase where I'd dressed somewhat immodestly. I wore immodest clothing because it made me feel attractive and frankly, as a boy crazy teen I liked the attention I received. It wasn't until after I heard a couple of drunk men discussing my body in detail that I realized, a lot of the attention I received was sexual and I didn't want to be seen as a "thing" to have sex with.

Because I consciously made the decision to wear modest clothing, I felt confident and beautiful in what I wore. I already knew it was more difficult to obtain respect when I wore revealing clothing. The point I'm trying to make here is that: Modesty is about Respect! It's respecting our own body. It's moving past our cultures norms of objectifying people, both men and women. To put it more bluntly, it's realizing that we as women are not just a pair of legs, breasts, and genitals. It's also invites others to respect us as well.

Here's where we move into the next point, and where Elder Callister, my Spanish teacher, and many others get confused. While studies have shown that dressing immodestly can affect the way we and others perceive ourselves, the reason we should dress modestly isn't to protect men and others from having lustful or impure thoughts about us. However, it is important that women learn that men are much more visually stimulated then we are, meaning they become sexually aroused just by looking at an attractive woman. It's important women understand that because in general we aren't as easily aroused.

Still, no matter how much you cover up there will always be plenty of men who will see you as a sex object. There will always be men who won't respect women no matter how fully clothed they are (or aren't). And there never will be a universally accepted limit or line when it comes to modesty. In my Spanish teacher's mind I wasn't modestly dressed. In other men's minds unless I'm covered completely and only have my eyes showing I am inappropriately dressed. It becomes wrong when they reject me as a human being because of the way that I am dressed. We need to always see other people as human beings and recognize they are worthy of respect no matter how they are dressed. Men, you can hope women won't objectify themselves, you can wish that women cover themselves up so you aren't sexually aroused "even though [you're] married...,"but it becomes wrong when you look down on them for their lack of clothing.

AND...It is wrong to expect that women are responsible for your thoughts and actions. We shouldn't ever look at a woman as "one of those girls." And if men feel uncomfortable looking at women who are showing cleavage, that's not a bad thing. The fact that they're uncomfortable is a good thing (especially if they're married). Why? Because they don't want to see that woman as a sex object. Yet, while it may be uncomfortable, men can't control how women dress. Instead, they need to have enough respect for women to master their thoughts.

This is where Natasha was right. The idea that women's clothing, or actions are responsible for men's thoughts, actions, or moral purity is supportive of a rape culture. What I mean by rape culture is the ideas, myths, and misconceptions that our culture teaches that support rapists in justifying themselves and help perpetuate rape, sexual assault, and violence while blaming the victim. I have read several intense research articles discussing how rape victims who aren't dressed modestly are often blamed for their rape/assault.  This mentality isn't alright. Does any person deserve to be raped? No! Another rape myth that ties into this idea is that men can't control their sexual urges.

So if we were to look at Callister's words, in my opinion he has many valid points mixed in with rape myth messages. "Our dress affects not only our thoughts and actions, but also the thoughts and actions of others..." This is true. The way we dress does affect the way we are perceived. "The dress of a woman has a powerful impact on the minds and passions of men." This is true until he adds passions (depending on how you define it). Men are more than capable of controlling their thoughts. Yes, they may notice a woman is sexually attractive, but they can decide to stop those thoughts from turning to "passion" and actions... "If it is too low or too high or too tight, it may prompt improper thoughts, even in the mind of a young man who is striving to be pure..." This is true. He goes on, "Women particularly, can dress modestly and in the process contribute to their own self-respect and to the moral purity of men." This is also true. Though I believe women shouldn't be expected to dress to contribute to men's moral purity sine men are responsible for their own purity. After all even if we're just wearing a shirt and jeans, some of us just can't help looking good. Finally, "In the end, most women get the type of man they dress for." This is the sentence where I really cringe. I don't believe any women dresses to get a man who disrespects her. At the same time, I know from experience that the more revealing the clothing a woman wears, the more jerks she'll tend to attract. This sentence just really needed to be re-worded, or omitted all together.

So what is modesty? To me, dressing modesty is about self-respect. It's dressing in a way that doesn't objectify (or make one seem less then human) yet, makes you feel confident, and beautiful.

Why should we dress modestly? So we as women can recognize that we have value beyond our looks and the men who desire us. It's about self-respect and recognizing who we really are.

I wish I could rewind that confrontation with my Spanish teacher. If that were possible I'd certainly let him know that his degrading approach wasn't acceptable. In fact, had I reported our conversation he would have been cited for sexual harassment. Luckily, most people who attended BYU don't have such a negative encounter, but it isn't unheard of...I was sad to read Molina had a similar experience. Hopefully, in time that will change...

Sightseeing in DC...When to Visit the Holocaust Museum and the Library of Congress

We've been stationed in the DC area for a little over a year now. While I've been able to tour DC a couple of times, my husband hadn't so we've been hitting a lot of the sites and have learned a trick or two along the way. There are so many bases in the DC area: Andrews Air force Base, Anacostia-Bolling, Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Fort Meade, Fort Belvoir, there's the Naval Academy, Marine Corps in Quantico, and so many more... So if you are military, or just someone on their way to the DC area I'll try to add some of the tips we've learned so you can see all there is to see before heading off somewhere else.

On President's Day you either want to go to one of two places, Mount Vernon (George Washington's old estate), or to the Library of Congress. The reason President's Day is a good day to visit Mount Vernon is because it is the only day you can get in free of charge and admission is pretty pricey. You'll want to get there early so you can pick up a ticket to tour the house (they are first come first serve), and you'll also want to dress really warm because it's usually really cold around this time of year. If you have children, bring blankets, coats, and I'd also recommend that you bring a stroller so they don't have to walk too much. Because admission is free, it will be packed, but once you start roaming around it's not too bad. You can look all over the grounds, watch a film, visit George Washington's tomb (they will have a special speech usually sometime in the morning), and they had a certain time when actors pretend to be Martha and George Washington who kept in character and answered all you could ask about our dear first president and his wife. It's a really fun place to visit and if you like Historical Sites it's definitely a must see while you're here.

Since we went to Mount Vernon last year, we opted to visit the Library of Congress. We were surprised to find out that President's Day is only one of two days (I think Veteran's Day is the second day) when the reading room is open to the public. When you arrive you can choose to go on a free tour around the library, but be forewarned you won't be seeing many books. Instead your guide will focus on the ornate decorations and architecture. Kids and families can join a tour, but you can also walk around by yourselves as well. If you don't like crowds, I'd avoid going on President's Day since many schools and tourists come on President's Day to visit the reading room. If you don't mind crowds and are planning to go also be sure to get some pictures in front of the Congress and Senate Buildings since they are right next to the library.

Here's some pictures I snapped on my iPod (hence the poor quality) to give you a look at some of the art/architecture you'll see. By the way, if your child is reading the Percy Jackson series they'll likely enjoy seeing all the Greek mythological figures throughout the building. My oldest daughter sure did.

If you don't like crowds, you should think about going to visit the Holocaust Museum. I'd visited the museum twice. Once during the Spring and then during the Summer. Both times I had to get there early and wait outside before they opened to get tickets to see the displays and upper floor in the museum. However, we learned that because Winter isn't their peak season, tickets aren't required. I believe they said they'll start handing out tickets again around March, but before then you're free to go visit the upper floor as you'd like. Anyhow, Since I'd visited the top level twice I told Daniel to go check it out while I stayed with the children and visited the more kid friendly part of the museum: Daniel's Story--where they walk you through a Jewish boy's life during WWII in a sensitive manner.

It's important to point out that they recommend that children are 14 or older before they go on the top floor since it gives guests a glimpse into the horrors of the Holocaust. Of course, as the parent you're allowed to decide whether you think your child is mature enough to visit this area of the museum. Since our kids weren't ready (and I'd already been), I was more then content visiting the other areas of the museum until Daniel was done. There really weren't many people there at all so my kids were able to watch all the videos, pull, open, and push any of the drawers, windows, and buttons they had for the kids to explore.

As a side note be prepared to go through a metal detector and have your bags scanned when you come to the museum and the library. They do this in all the museums that I've visited in DC so far. We'd heard that the Holocaust Museum doesn't allow food inside, so if you pack a lunch be prepared to eat it before you enter the building. As a side note, the Smithsonian Museums haven't stopped us from bringing a backpack with lunch inside.

As for parking...If you go early to Mount Vernon you should find a spot in one of their parking lots for free. In DC they normally advise you to take the Metro, but if you have a big family like we do, that may not work for you. We visited the Library of Congress first and found 2 hour parking on a side street close by. After we finished, we went drove by the Jefferson Memorial where they have three hour free parking along the River. Usually this area gets filled quickly so we normally arrive early in the morning to ensure we find a spot. However, there weren't many cars there at all on President's Day. From there we walked to the Holocaust Museum which is a bit of a walk, but not too bad. Another option would be to park in one of the garages. If you park in a garage you will still have a bit of a walk to your destination, but you won't have to hurry back before your 2-3 hours are up to avoid a parking ticket.

 If you decide you want to use a parking garage, don't rely on your GPS to find one. Our GPS sent us on a wild goose chase when looking for a parking garage. Instead, look up a parking garage on the internet before you leave and type in the address they provide on your GPS or a place right next to it. We've found parking for $11-15 for the day (which is cheaper then paying for everyone to take the metro unless all your kids are younger than six) especially if you have to pay for parking at the Metro Station.

Whether you take the Metro, or drive I know you'll enjoy visiting these sites. There are so many things to do and see while you're in the DC area. Hopefully, you'll enjoy exploring as much as we have!